Letter to myself from God (and me)

What follows is from several months ago, but especially relevant to me right now.

O Benjamin, don't think you have it all figured out, or that you have to. I will guide your steps, so take them! They don't have to be "right", but they need to be with me. Don't discourage yourself with the voices of others. Delight in me. Abide IN me, and you will bear much fruit. Apart from me, you can do nothing. DDon't feel like you need to rebel, throwing off the status quo by force, but neither do you need to conform against your convictions. BE YOURSELF. This isn't easy, and will challenge you to weigh the cost of following me, but follow me--'I will make you fishers of men'! Believe it or not, you were made for 'evangelism', but not as the world sees it. You are not alone in this endeavor, I am with you, and I will send helpers with like-minds and hears that you may be of one accord! You are called to pray without ceasing, but in word and deed, spirit and truth. Do not be driven by guilt or compulsion to do things for me, but be yourself in me and do the things--silly, sweet, challenging, etc.--that are on your heart! Remember that you are not the one with the vision, I AM! The kingdom of God is within you, but I'm the King! So go forward, wear love as a garland on your neck to give away, and know that I am love and that I am infinity. Stay open to me. Stay vulnerable to your wife. Do not let your heart become hard or be troubled. I am testing you to see what is in your heart and whether or not you will be faithful to pour it all out on me. Do not deceive yourself, nor seek to convince others by disuading them from their call. You can be different and let them be different without casting judgment, but you are accountable to your convictions. Your goal must not be to verbally break walls, but to lead out of norms. Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid of the opinions of others, however close they are to you or well-meaning they can be. I have chosen you before the foundations of the world. What can man do to me? As you see that I have chosen others, you will need to speak up about what you see in them (however little or insignificant it may seem to be). To he who has, more will be given, to he who has been given much, much will be required. You are being given to give away. You have been forgiven to forgive. You have been shown mercy to be merciful.
You're a papa now. Know my love and you will be able to love your children like me. I have and will give you spiritual and biological children. Love them as your own, but know your limits. Have "soft walls", and do not be afraid of boundaries--only be mindful that you need them too! IHOP doesn'tneed you. I need you to be yourself. MAPSCO doesn't need you, I long--I groan!--for you to be all of who I see you to be. Do not run on the fringes, find your center and invite people in! You cannot go out to all the world unless you have found me in you! Behold, I have prepared a place for you!
I will show you. I have showed you. Ask me whatever you wish and it will be given to you. Remember, though, you are not alone. You must move out of (in) the confidence in who I am and what I am doing. Unless I build the house, you labor in vain. It would be better for you to try and fail and come back to me and others in weakness than to continue in unbelief and inaction. Do only out of belief. Doing comes out of being. Believing is seeing. What have I shown you? You must live and testify to what you have seen, not what others have seen. What do you believe about me? What do you think is important? I care about what you think! I want you to think, to ask, seek and knock, but to do these out of knowing that I am LOVE, "papa", that I AM is steadfast love and faithfulness!
Benjamin FaderComment