On Hats and Hiding

I haven't really thought of myself as a "hat" person, but more recently I've collected a couple great hats. Depending on who you ask, I look like a caddy, a Frenchman, a shoe-shine boy, or that drummer from that band that they can't remember the name for. I generally get complimented for the hats I wear, and don't get me wrong, I look good. Maybe I'm not alone in this, but hats are also the PERFECT solution for a bad hair day. Not everyday I wear a hat is a bad hair day, and not every bad hair day is a day I wear a hat, but you get the idea.

I was thinking about some of the other "hats" I wear, whether in person or in writing, and how they can cover my "bad hair." I've come to terms with the fact that there are some wounds I have left covered, places in my heart/soul I have yet to revisit, let alone share with others. Some of this might just be knowing myself and discerning the right time to share things that are very personal, but I think some of it is just hiding. Maybe it's a fear of rejection. Maybe a fear of what lies beneath the surface of my soul. Maybe a fear of being misunderstood or misrepresented by those I care about. At this point, I care less about figuring out why I've behaved a certain way, and more about changing my behavior. So "hats off" to whoever is reading this. Question by question, day by day, I'm looking forward to exploring and expressing myself in depth, vulnerability and authenticity. Morning by morning I'm excited by the possibility that maybe, just maybe, my ping out into the void will return with a response in kind. That deep would call to deep. I'm excited for further synthesis, further integration. For sharing my journey and hearing the journeys of others.

Thanks for reading.

Thanks for caring.

Thanks for sharing.



Benjamin FaderComment