On Labor and Delivery and Trusting the Process
I get impatient.
I become resistant to how slowly things are moving. I think I should be able to have an idea and immediately manifest the result. I get tired of doing the same things every day, feeling like this should be going somewhere but it doesn't seem to be. Does that ever happen to you?
When I get to feeling this way, I try to remind myself that everything is a process. Now, I can acknowledge if I'm not careful, I can use this as an excuse for taking big actions when needed. Most of the time, my issue IS the impatience and consequent resistance to my circumstances I feel. Then I remind myself of my wife and her three pregnancies.
With each of our children, my wife, Courtney, carried them over a week beyond their due date. Eight days, fifteen days, eighteen days, respectively. With each pregnancy, Courtney experienced things I have never and will never experience; from constant nausea to her organs being shuffled into new places to having a little person push on her bladder from inside her ... oh, and labor and delivery. While I don't understand the pain, I am so glad I was able to be a birth partner. It showed me how much of a badass Courtney is. It also taught me that part of life is trusting the process.
Trusting the process can feel slow, but it is working. Pregnancy is a great example of this. Life is being constantly grown and developed, and it's only nine-ish months, but that is nine-ish months of your body being completely changed and experiencing all kinds of discomfort and new things. Maybe it is our expectations that get us in trouble. We relish in knowing the gender, in having a due date, and we attach to these all kinds of other expectations. With other aspects of life, we don't have the same visceral/physical signs of life and growth, but if we ARE in the process, things are happening.
Resistance is futile, embrace the tension. With Hosanna's birth (our oldest), Courtney was at times very resistant to the contractions. There was still pain, but things moved a lot slower than they could have. With Selah's (our youngest), I watched the same woman relax into each contraction, knowing that each swell was bringing our baby that much closer to being in our arms. As she submitted to the process, she owned the process. It was incredible! She was in the zone, in her element the whole time, never checked out or trying to avoid what was happening. In our lives, discomfort often makes us want to recoil and retreat into our comfort zones. Something about being all-in to whatever IS... that's where the magic lives.
Be like Courtney. Be a badass. Even when things feel slow or painful or outside our expectations, lean in and trust the process.