Running through my mind
Should be, could be, different
The word that jumped out at me this past week in meditation was comparison.
I have seen how the hells I fashion for myself have nothing to do with now, but with the GAP between my expectations and reality.
I compare my present level of energy or enthusiasm to a past version of me (or at least, the idea of it). Or, I will compare the way things feel at work/home/with friends/in my family and see how they are not like they were (past) or not as they "should be" (imagined future). All of this is
When I live in comparison, I don't love myself. I don't love the moment. I miss the beautiful intricacies of the situation I'm in because of my image I'm holding.
My holding becomes my holding cell,
and I return to the depths of hell.
It doesn't matter if I mean well
To love what is I must shed this shell
Comparison: What you hold onto becomes the hell you live into.
In choosing to let go of my images, my stories, my expectations, it can feel like I'm letting go of parts of me, but really I'm just making room for paradise. I'm creating space for joy. For learning. For growth. For love. Comparison kills us because we can't be our true authentic selves while we're resisting or attempting to be something other than.
We can still see the gap between who we are committed to being, we can still see the room for growth. Yet if this becomes a focus on what is not or what should be, we become the victim of our own thinking in a heartbeat. I let go of the desire to be someone somewhere else and I start with accepting who I am.
Comparison kills: Choose life.